I don’t know about you, but I hate unfinished business. Whether it’s unfinished laundry, unfinished decorating, or unfinished projects… I hate it all. Why? Why do I want completion? Why does checking something off my exponentially growing to do list feel so good? Why do I want my whole house to be fully decorated the moment I move in? I have a feeling it all comes down to- acceptance for myself and by others. Here’s a few things I have learned:
1. Get new perspective. With my house, I have to realize that things won’t look like my mom’s house because if took her 30 years to get her house that way. I can’t expect my house to be straight out of Pottery Barn on the budget I live on. I have to see my reality for what it is. I have to look at my life through the lens of gratitude. I’m grateful Wil and I are homeowners at age 24. I’m grateful that we have furnishings that make our house more than livable. I’m grateful for friends and family that can gather there. I’m grateful that it feels like home. When your focus isn’t on what you don’t have… what you do have feels a whole lot bigger.
2. Be realistic with goals. When we bought our house, I instantly had a mile long to do list of what I wanted to buy to fill it up. My husband brought the realism and had a great idea to make “phases” for our plan. Phase 1 was downstairs living area (kitchen dining living room) Phase 2 is downstairs office and bathroom, Phase 3 upstairs guest rooms, Phase 4 upstairs loft, Phase 5 finish our room. We’re on Phase 2 after almost a year of living here, and I’ve become okay with it. I’m an all or nothing girl; I don’t like starting things that don’t get finished. But having phases makes the whole task of furnishing our house more attainable. Why did we pick those phases??? Bc that’s what you see first when people come over. Do we crave acceptance from others?? Do we want our house to define who we are? Or how good of person we are?
3. Crave the ONE thing that CAN complete you. Instead of begging for scraps of acceptance from others, try living loved in all you do. Adoration from others is mere icing on the cake that you don’t NEED. Decorate your house with what you like on the budget you can afford that makes you and your family feel at home. Know who you are, accept who you are.. flaws and all so that you live whole and complete. I believe that there’s a God who has a purpose and plan and finishes them out to completion. Who loves us completely. Without conditions or requirements. Don’t seek acceptance from peers who are just as insecure as you are; live secure in knowing you’re accepted. For who you are in this very moment. Live completely loved- because you are just that. Completely loved.
Sometimes, I’ve had to come undone before the Lord, take off perfectionism, all my wants and preconceived needs, all the pressure and be the undone, kinda a hot mess version of me- to let Him remind me who I am. I am: more than a conqueror, a daughter of the King, beautifully and wonderfully made, destined for a purpose and a plan; plans to prosper me and not to harm me. I am strong and can laugh without fear of the future. It’a okay, to not have it all together. It’s actually better that way. There’s a lot less weight there. There’s a whole lot more freedom there. Jesus is the only true form of completion. He said, “I have brought you glory on earth by FINISHING the work you gave me to do.” (John 17:4) And if we are striving to be like Jesus then it is not about the house and the work we create for ourselves but our callings as followers of Christ, His charges in our lives that we should be focused on finishing that we may bring His glory to the earth.
Desiring completion goes beyond our homes but our bodies, our relationships, our circumstances. Baby steps are forward movement, forward movement is progress nonetheless. You can’t progress, until you start. Don’t let the fear of failure, incompletion, or regret paralyze you from moving FORWARD. Whatever you’re facing and wishing was complete, START MOVING and try to enjoy the process.
XO,
