Top 5 Things I’ve Learned Since Becoming a Wife

1. God is faithful; in absence of all the feels. There were times when honeymoon feelings were fleeting. There were times that our human shortcomings screamed louder than our love. BUT every time- God has been faithful. I’ve learned way more about who I am and WHOSE I am through the ickier times. God’s been faithful to remind me that my husband is a GIFT that was hand selected for me.

2. My mama always said (and go figure she was right….) “You and your husband are on the same team, always.” You don’t fight against flesh and blood. There’s a real enemy that wants nothing more than disunity in your marriage because there’s so much power with unity. The moments we fought against each other have been the biggest hurts and biggest regrets. Those were the moments that left invisible gashes. The moments we got a grip of our emotions, took a breath, and got new perspective on the situation- there was real growth and real connection. In that “I do” moment- a new family was made.  Husband & Wife. We come from two great families- that we have learned tremendously from. We are navigating what this new family of two looks like.

3. Purely saying I do- doesn’t make you a good wife. Neither does a plethora of home cooked, planned out meals. Neither does an empty laundry basket. Neither does an endless to do list. I’ve tried them. I’ve been the girl that secretly stresses because the laundry seems to literally multiply every time I turn my back, I’ve been the girl that meal plans and grocery shops and preps everyone of my man’s fave things including his fave snacks and a fridge stocked with his TWO favorite ice creams. I’ve been the girl that makes sure dinner is ready the second my man walks through the door….. but guess what- he couldn’t care less about any one of those things I SLAVED over. I feel disappointed. He doesn’t notice. Not that he doesn’t appreciate them- but doesn’t NEED them like I thought he did. All those things were for, me. I thought that’s what wives did. Don’t get me wrong- serve your husband. It never comes back void- ever. But, do it with the right heart. Not a heart that craves recognition. Or one that secretly wants him to post about how fabulous you are on social media. I found that a good wife- listens to her husband.  She does a whole lot less striving and a whole lot more listening. I was so focused on getting my stuff done (all good things that I thought were for him) that I wasn’t even truly giving undivided attention to listen. To listen to what dumb video he found on YouTube and thought was hilarious. To listen to his wins at work. To listen to his advice. A good wife- listens. She stops what she’s doing (however important) to greet him when he comes home. She listens with respectful heart and eyes ( I’ve learned a whole lotta disrespect can be thrown with one roll of the eye)! Validate your husband. Build him up. Believe in him. Dream with him.

4. You can be strong and independent and still submit to your man’s authority. Speaking disrespectfully to him- may be thee biggest mistake I could make. Ever.

5. I’m more effective with him- than I ever was apart. I’m honestly tearing up when I type this- but I’m just so honored to do every day in and day out with him. He multiplies my joys and triumphs and divides my sorrows and defeats. Marriage has created the environment where we are developing and discovering who we are and who we were made to be.

These are the top 5 that popped in my head but marriage has taught me so much. One thing to note- our marriage is no where near perfect. However, wanna know a secret to see positive changes in your marriage?? Prayer. I can change SO MUCH more in prayer than I can in striving or talking about change. ITS REAL. I’ve tried and tested it. PRAY for your man. Pray for your marriage.

Some wedding photos because I’m so obsessed with them & if you need me.. my head is in the clouds reliving thee amazing day of 03/14/15. PS… Check out Studio 7 Photography for your wedding photography needs… CLEARLY SHE’S AMAZING.

XO,