You might think resolutions are cliche or picking a “word” for the year is trendy, that’s fine, I don’t 🙂 When thinking about this next year I didn’t have many “goals” that I could think of. I tried and tried to think of something that wasn’t the same old … loose weight, save money, be a better version of me blah blah… All that is great but let’s be real it’s the same story, different year. I also think if we aren’t intentional about making a change or implementing something new, nothing changes. So I was praying about 2019 and the word “margin” kept coming to mind. Margin. Margin…. Margin. “You need margin.”
“Margin is the space between our load and our limits. It is the amount allowed beyond that which is needed. It is something held in reserve for contingencies or unanticipated situations. Margin is the gap between rest and exhaustion, the space between breathing freely and suffocating. Margin is the opposite of overload. If we are overloaded we have no margin. Most people are not quite sure when they pass from margin to overload. Threshold points are not easily measurable and are also different for different people in different circumstances.”
Richard Swenson, MD
I was really only familiar with the word in regard to finances but it goes far beyond.
In every aspect of my life, I want margin. It doesn’t just happen.. I’m finding I have to fight for it.
I am SO SO sick and tired and straight up frustrated that for my life… I have been consuming EVERYTHING. Financially, sure. But so much more than that.
With my time… Every. single. moment. of my days are filled with something.
Every. single. day of the week on my calendar is filled with something. Every. single. week of my month flies by because we are focusing on something. Every. single. weekend of my month is booked solid with something. Every. single. month is filled with something.
“Something” like what do I even have to show for all this busyness? Sure some fun events and memories. But I’m really frustrated by the fact that from wake up to bedtime our days are FULL. Of I’m not even sure what?
my goal for 2019: restoring emotional, physical, financial and time reserves to my life.
This year, we are taking serious control of our schedules and PUSHING BACK from the lie that says every single day needs something and if it’s not productive, that I’m lazy.
TIME
Being so intentional with our calendar that we are on the same page with days I’m working, making, planning date nights a month out, planning time for just the three of us, planning time to be intentional with friends & family.
Being a working mom, time can be such a thief. But I’m taking control because it doesn’t have to be. I work 3, 12 hour shifts a week, meaning I leave at 6 am and get home at 8 or 8:30pm. Now that means I miss out completely on dinner with my family and bedtime with my baby 3 nights a week. So I have 4 nights left. Now those nights fill up with countless good things.. church things.. extended family things… appointments and whatever else. But saying yes to those “good” things means saying “no” to family time with the three of us. It means “no” to creating dinner and bedtime routines, “no” to talking about our day around the table, “no” to bath time and bedtime reading and singing and praying and snuggling before bed, all which are my favorite time with my son. So it sounds selfish… but as a mama, I think it’s my job to carve out the SPACE AND MARGIN in our lives so that this little family of mine is the priority.
FINANCIAL
We have big financial goals for 2019. Honestly, they’re kinda impossible to the naked eye but we are believing for a miracle! One thing that really helps us and we are going back to this year is a monthly budget meeting.
We started this when we first got married because I was SO annoyed with we’d sit down to dinner or on the phone or on the couch or really all the time and had to talk about finances. We instated a rule that we sit down and talk finances for the next month… and then unless theres something that comes up… we don’t talk about finances at dinner.. or on the couch.. or on the phone. Because who even wants to do that ? Not me. It helps us be on the same page and we do check in occasionally but we’ve already talked through the most of it. If you’re newly married or anyone really… I’d so suggest trying this. Finances in marriage can be a tough one and it creates the place for communication but also helps money not be what you’re always talking about. We also reinstated our cash system.. it keeps us a lot more accountable. Pushing back from consuming everything with little to show for it. We are also being intentional and putting a freeze on big vacations this year. We love them so much but you know …”live like no one else so you can live like no one else.” We got some things to take care of.
EMOTIONAL/PHYSICAL
This goes with the time one, but I’ve found I have to wake up early. It’s how I’m programed. But I also found I have to stay up a little later than I’d like to. Sleep can be a huge time suck for me. I love sleep. (and think its so important and you have to know how much your body needs to function) But I would love to sleep 9 or 10 hours a night but I’ve found I need to be productive in the evening hours when my baby is sleeping (where I used to just go to bed early) and carve out time in the mornings to not be as “productive” with tasks but to wake up and really spend some time reading, praying, seeking after God. Carving out time, pushing back, I think it really helps my overall mental state. Physical.. doesn’t everyone want to lose weight? HA. I added childcare onto my gym membership so we can create a routine and rhythm with the gym included. It is so good for emotional and physical health! And date nights.. I mentioned it in time but we really truly suck at it. BUT this year our marriage and family of 3 is a huge priority so we’ve set a goal to have a date night the two of us 1 time a month (I know it should be more but again… thats better than we have been doing and if we did it weekly.. that would be only 3 days we are both home for dinner and bedtime with our boy).
So here they are. The big ones that is.. I have little ones that will all fall into place if we get some margin in our lives.
I hope you’ve put some thought into your 2019 and would love to hear your word or goals too!!!! WE CAN DO IT!!!!!!!
Margin baby, margin.
XO,
