So, when we first started “trying,” I had thee cutest sign made by @aubreykashdesigns, (go check out her stuff she is amazingly talented) because I was under some delusion I would get pregnant right away.. and I was glad I did because I would not have been able to wait to have something cute made once I found out. Side note… I realize every single life event doesn’t have to be a production but did want to make this moment special because hey.. its our first baby and the hubs told me he wanted to be surprised. So here it goes….

I may have fibbed a little bit about my estimated period date to give myself a few days to know before Wil would suspect anything. So my period was due on a Monday and I woke up on the Friday before dying to take an early pregnancy test. (I had sworn off early pregnancy testing because after months of seeing negative after negative it gets discouraging). BUT I took the test, stared at it and WHO WOULD HAVE KNOWN…… that precious little second line made itself clear. I was in shock. So naturally, I took another one- a digital one so I couldn’t misread it. PREGNANT. Instant tears. The can’t breathe sobbing, tears. I have never felt more overwhelmingly grateful in my whole life. I’m still in awe that the Lord has blessed me to carry this baby.

So.. took the test.. freaked out.. and then scrambled with thoughts on how I could tell Wil. I told him our friends wanted to get dinner and go take pictures for the blog. He was NOT about it. He was having a long day a work and did not want to go take pictures. BUT I had “already said yes” (wink).. so he agreed. I then stopped texting him because I couldn’t even stand it. I went to the cutest boutique in town and picked up the sweetest newborn onesie, some moccasins, and a little toy. I had thee biggest butterflies in my stomach. I told my friend that I had a surprise for Wil and wanted to capture his reaction on camera. She freaked and automatically knew… I told her I could neither confirm or deny until after I told Wil 🙂

So… Wil got home from work. Is in THEE worst mood, HOLY COW (sorry love, but its true). He had a rough day at work and made it CLEAR that thee last thing he wanted to do was to go and take photos. He actually said, “this is like me making you go to the gym after working a 14 hour shift.” AHAHAHAH- Hilarious.

We literally were arguing in the car on the way there, but I was still so giddy so I couldn’t even get into it. We pulled up to where they were all set up and we started taking photos ( even they could tell someone was grouchy 🙂 ). So we took some pictures together and Kailah asked Wil to take some single shots of him with me in the background. Brock handed me the sign while Wil faced Kailah and then asked him to turn around and look at me.

He was the sweetest. He dropped to his knees and cried. I cried. We all cried. We hugged & kissed & cried some more. And then GUESS who was so happy to take pictures after he found out he was going to be a day <3 He’s just the cutest. Thanks for reading our story.

XO,

, Wil & Sweet Baby G

Shoutout to Brock & Kailah for the cute pics <3

     S

Follow:

How often do you wear your “active” wear and the only activity consists of maybe the grocery store or sitting on the couch watching Netflix? Guilty. I love all things health and fitness but am I always as active as I should be? Nope, not even close. I am guilty of the “I have an event/wedding/vacation”… I better get to working out kinda fitness. Hey nothing is wrong with some motivation.. but what if your health and fitness goals were not centered around looking good in that dress or that bikini on your next vacation but because Heart Disease is the NUMBER ONE KILLER OF WOMEN. HELLLOOOOO. As a nurse, this statistic shocks and motivate me. Newsflash- cancer isn’t the number one killer of us girls- it is HEART DISEASE. Some risk factors you can’t prevent but you can certainly decrease risk factors with a good diet and exercise. SO when I wanna be lazy and am tired and want to sit on the couch on my days off- I feel that beat in my chest and am reminded- I HAVE to keep that thing healthy. Not only does exercise benefit your heart- but your mind. The amount of stress relief & mental health boost you get is incredible. Not to mention that added bonus of looking great and FEELING more confident in your clothes and bikinis. So stop trying to look like the next fitness model on your Instagram feed and just get your heart beating a little faster- your mind, body, and future healthy hearted self will thank you.

I’m literally preaching to myself right now- and this health kick is new but I think with new perspective it can stick to being more than a “kick.” Things that have helped “sticking” to being committed to health and wellness:

1. Cute active wear. Don’t judge me- you know you’re more motivated to get active if you feel cute doing it. We got each other these cute matching Roshe Runs and I love them.
2. Accountability with your spouse- now, working out with your spouse isn’t for everyone. Wil and I have recently started working out at the same gym and going to the same classes and it has been so much fun. He wont let me talk to him while he’s working out- I guess I’m distracting… BUT it has been a huge help to do it together. We drag each other off the couch and go together. It’s more time for us to hang out. He corrects my form and we challenge each other to run faster with each push. Whether it is your spouse or a friend- get accountable to someone.
3. MEAL PREP. “You can’t outwork a bad diet.” It’s just so true. We are trying to eat more of just good, healthy foods. Which requires way more cooking at home- which requires more food prepping. I’m slightly obsessed with food prepping right now so more to come on meal prep/planning tricks and easy recipes…

SO, stop waiting until like getting active. Truth is- you never will. Let’s be women of strength not allowing our emotions to dictate what we do.

XO,

Follow:

A 30-year-old male, no past medical history, has a cold, sees his PCP, and takes a course of antibiotics; no improvement of symptoms. He’s more short of breath than normal, so urgent care draws labs sends him home. They call him back and tell him he needs to get to an ER immediately. His hemoglobin low, platelets low, and white blood cell count- critically low. We get a bone marrow biopsy to confirm but we are pretty sure it’s… Leukemia. And it is. This man goes from never being in a hospital to being admitted for minimum 30 days as we administer induction chemotherapy and search for a donor- he needs a Bone Marrow Transplant. He has 2 small children at home who can’t visit for infection risk, oh and his wife is pregnant. Without the initiation of chemo immediately- death is quickly approaching.

*(This situation is not an actual patient, but an accumulation of people’s stories we see every day.) 

That’s a typical Monday. Actually, that’s 365 days a year. Because cancer doesn’t observe holidays or weekends.

People always think it’s awesome I’m a nurse and ask what specialty I am and when I reply that I work on the cancer unit- the mood changes. They can’t fathom facing the “cancer” word every day. And let me tell you- some days it hits us. I work with the most amazing people. The nurses I “nurse” beside are part of the reason why I can do what I do. But it isn’t easy. Hematology/Oncology isn’t the only hard place. Every single department of nursing has some serious dark spots.

However, nurses are lights. You’re a light to some pretty dark places. These patients are walking out THEE worst days of their lives with new deadly diagnoses. . . their families equally overwhelmed, underprepared, and beside themselves with emotions. And there you are, their nurse. For the next 12 hours, you’re climbing down into their trenches facing their traumas and standing for them. You stand as their confidence, their comfort, their advocate, their life support, their protector, their educator, their joy, and their hands when they can’t feed themselves. You’re their walker when their legs are weak, their supplier of relief when the nausea pain and anxiety won’t relent, and their confidant. Sometimes you’re all they got, their nurse. Your skill sets go beyond what nursing school taught you- starting IVs, placing Foley catheters, pushing meds, changing dressings. I’ve seen your real “skills” surface as you push through shift after shift when you have your own challenges of life at home yet you clock in and your patients are your only concern. No one teaches you how to rise up in times of emergency and code a patient. No one teaches you how to have compassion for the broken people that lash out at you. No one teaches you how to with dignity and honor hold someone’s hand as their heart beats for the last time and you witness their time of death, no one teaches you how to put someone (a mom/dad/sister/brother/son/daughter/ friend) in a body bag. And yet- you do it every day. YOU do all this. You figure out how you stand in the gap for others and then clock out and carry on with your own set of challenges that await you at home. You learn how to put up walls enough to protect yourself from being a bleeding heart and able to function when everything falls apart, but allowing yourself to be close so compassion marks your practice.
Nurses- you’re the real heroes.

Happy Nurses Week!

 
(Besides the “Mrs.” next to my name- I’m most proud of the RN that follows it)
Vanessa Gilliland, RN, BSN
Hematology/Oncology/Bone Marrow Transplant

Photos by Studio 7 Photography 

Follow: